Walmart Brings Life

I think sometimes we confuse being honest and bold with being mean all of the time. I think as time has passed over the last few months – I have learned that the words you spew really do mean something to the person that you share them with. Sticks and stones may be the thing to break bones, but words unfortunately weaken the mental wall that we all seem to forget about when it is not us personally. I had a conversation with two friends the other day next to some Crock Pots in Walmart…let me tell you when we walked away 2 hours later, I think we all felt rejuvenated but also just a tad bit frustrated by what we discussed. Anyway…

During the conversation I was asked about my approach to always telling people how I feel. Which is funny because most people that really know me...they know that I do not like to speak to many people and give much of my opinion. I do not like arguing with people and sometimes I do not like having to explain my feelings regularly. It has taken me a while to move away from arguing with people because I enjoyed making others upset – no surprise (I can be a little petty). But there was a pure difference between me being petty and wanting to argue versus me being honest about how I was feeling.

When I attempted to argue with people I called it being “real” I launched rumors, insults, secrets…whatever was necessary because I wanted to be the winner. Before you might think or say it…no I was not a bark instead of bite type of person when I was younger. I was always excited to be able to go toe to toe with anyone that was around. The older I got the more I realized hitting people does not always solve the problem, but I also learned that my rip at you as a person was unnecessary as well. The more that I thought about it as time progressed – I also realized my link to solving things with violence was completely connected to me “keeping it real”. I figured based on the things that I said someone would get mad and want to hit me, which would give me the right to fight back.

On the other hand, as time progressed and I went to counseling and learned more about myself the more I became willing to engage that way. It came at a great time because fighting as an adult has outcomes that are much worse than outcomes from fighting as a kid. During this time is when I learned that my honesty was not meant to hurt people, but hopefully it might clue them to do some form of self-analyzation. Speaking badly about someone does not solve problems that you may have with them and does not make them feel any different or better. I just want to be free from people thinking that their judgment personality, spiteful tone, or disturbing remarks make them “real”. I know that this is not super detailed but it was just meant to b

e a quick lesson about my experience and life. Too bad I did not record the two hours of me and my friends at Walmart, because that would have been pretty great.