Giving Back to Self

I have been trying to work on my mental healthy lately, and that has involved me being aware of when I need some self care. I have done plenty of things to make sure that I am being the best me that I can be. It is not only important for me but for others to recognize the things that are triggers.

I spent a lot of time this summer in Pennsylvania at Penn State University. I was struggling with a lot of things, but mostly I was not enjoying my time during my internship. The people were great, but the program was not necessarily the best thing for me. I do think there were experiences that helped me grow, but during that unplanned time of self reflection it has helped me realize a lot of things as I was heading back to Iowa.

I have returned to a place where I have some real friends, but also have some people that want to pretend. Pretending for me takes unnecessary energy and I am not really someone who wants to play the role. Being someone who is able to be cordial is a different level - it is us being able to have a conversation or sit next to one another. I am an advocate for being who you are at every single moment - even though sometimes giving in occasionally becomes a thing because I do not want to be labeled as the mean big black guy.

I recognize now how easy it becomes for people to separate themselves from a pack that does not seem to care. It has become easier for me to not feel a moment of guilt especially when I do not feel a connection with people and not because I do not want to but because it is not there. Authenticity is important no matter what position you are in at the moment.

As time has passed, I have learned that people who truly care reach out to you and people who only care enough to be nosey ask others about you. Iam guilty about that as well, but I think the more that I recognize is the more I try to distance myself from it!

I fully recognize that my attitude and decision to not put energy into everything and everyone might become a moment for others to say certain things about me, but that has began to move on to a long list of things that I do not care about. I have to be more concrete with things that I am willing to deal with and things that I am not willing to deal with. These are moments when I realized that I have to be selfish and not put myself out there for others.

“The higher you energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.”

• Anthony Robbins